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Why Men Have an Affair

Mar 10, 2011 | By Tess Miller
Why Men Have an Affair
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In the "Journal of Research in Personality," David M. Buss and Todd K. Shackelford estimate that infidelity occurs in 50 percent of marriages. With a percentage this high, it is not a question of if your spouse will cheat, but a question of when. Statistics indicate men are more likely to cheat than women, and as a result, theories on male infidelity abound.

Testosterone

Men have up to 10 times the amount of testosterone than women, according to neuroeconomist Paul J. Zak at Psychology Today's online site. High levels of testosterone make men more aggressive, and more likely to take risks. The higher the testosterone level, the higher the libido, and the greater likelihood your man will stray. Testosterone levels also peak with success, which may account for the number of high-status men in positions of power who cheat.

Emotions

Men may cheat for emotional reasons. Marriage counselor M. Gary Neuman, author of, "The Truth About Cheating," surveyed 200 men and discovered that 48 percent of cheaters strayed because of emotional dissatisfaction with their partners. These men claim their wives neglected their emotional needs, and made them feel unimportant. According to Neuman, the men wanted their wives to give encouragement, and acknowledge contributions made to the marriage. Because men don't always know how to ask for these emotional strokes, women don't think to provide them.

Genetics

According to Martie G. Haselton, a professor of psychology at University of California at Los Angeles, a man is hard-wired to cheat from an evolutionary standpoint. Men are less interested in long-term relationships because they are less interested in raising children. Haselton calls this the "strategic interference theory," and claims it explains why, though men are certainly capable of long-term mating strategies, they are more motivated toward short-term sexual relationships.

Friends

M. Gary Neuman says that 77 percent of men are simply copying the actions of friends when they cheat. If you have a friend you admire, and that friend cheats on his wife, you are more likely to see cheating as normal and even acceptable behavior. Neuman suggests that if you are a woman, you should look carefully at your husband's friends. Happily married couples make the best friends, helping to create an environment that discourages infidelity.

Power

Some men use sex to assert their masculinity, psychiatrist Frank Pittman says on Psychology Today's online site. In spite of feeling attracted to women, these men may not actually like women, and will act abusive and mean to maintain feelings of superiority and strength. According to Pittman, these men are incapable of intimacy, and don't really want to know anything substantial about you. They often appear charming, and will go to great lengths to impress you with their money or power.

References

Article reviewed by Glenn Singer Last updated on: Mar 10, 2011

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