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How do I Date a Woman Who Is Going Through a Divorce?

by
James Roland
James Roland is the editor of a monthly health publication that has approximately 75,000 subscribers in the United States and Canada. Previously, he worked as a newspaper reporter and editor, covering issues ranging from the environment and government to family matters and education. He earned a bachelor's degree in journalism from the University of Oregon.
How do I Date a Woman Who Is Going Through a Divorce?
A man and woman toasting in a restaurant. Photo Credit Rayes/Photodisc/Getty Images

Dating a women who is going through a divorce can be a complicated endeavor, particularly if there are children involved or her soon-to-be ex-husband wants to make things difficult. He may not be prepared to see his wife dating anyone else and give the both of you a hard time. However, it may be an amicable separation and the divorce proceedings may be a formality free of additional stress or pressure. And if you truly care about this woman, keep in mind that her marriage, divorce and family situation are simply part of what makes her who she is.

Expectations

A woman who is dating and going through a divorce at the same time is dealing with two potentially complicated relationships, where one is ending and one is just beginning. Dating such a woman will require some patience as she sorts out her feelings about the end of her marriage. She is very likely to have moments of elation that an unhappy chapter has closed, as well as bouts of sadness or regret. She may still even have some lingering feelings for her ex-husband, which can complicate a new relationship. If you understand the many issues she may be struggling with, you may find that as time goes along, things in her life may simplify greatly and she will sort out her feelings about her ex-husband.

The Children

Because a divorcing woman may have children, any new man will have to be aware that the kids may be very confused about their mom seeing someone else and not know exactly how to feel about you. Be willing to meet the children on terms that are comfortable for their mother and for them, even if that means waiting a while to finally meet them.

Benefits

A woman who has been through a marriage that ends in divorce may be much more in touch with the kind of guy she truly wants to be with now and more aware of the many pitfalls that can derail a relationship.

Considerations

Depending on the stage of the divorce proceedings, there's always a chance that the woman and her almost-ex-husband could reconcile, leaving you in an awkward place. Or, she and he may want to reconcile, but having you in the picture could complicate things considerably, according to the article, "Dating While Going Through a Divorce," on ProfessorsHouse.com.

Warning

As possibly the first new relationship since the end of her marriage, you may find yourself as a rebound, someone who was the right guy at the right time, but maybe not a long-term partner. A divorcing woman may be quite reluctant to jump right into a serious relationship, so be prepared to take things slowly and casually, or know going in that this could very well be a short-term fling. On the other hand, she may be quite eager to dive into a relationship, particularly if her marriage had been a cold and unhappy one. Be prepared for anything and be sure to know what you want out of the relationship, too.

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