Siblings may not be willing to help take care of aging parents for a variety of reasons. They may live too far away or have too many personal and immediate family responsibilities. They might hold grudges against your parents and not be willing to give of themselves. The person left with the responsibility often feels overwhelmed, according to Agingcare.com and must find alternative solutions.
Step 1
Call a meeting with all your brothers and sisters, and come right out and ask everyone what they are willing to do to help you care for your parents. According to Agingcare.com, the sibling who's taken over often assumes that siblings won't help, but doesn't actually come out and ask for help.
Step 2
Take steps to make your parents' living situation safer and easier for them to do more for themselves. Help them become more independent so they don't have to rely on you for everything. According to MayoClinic.org, you can purchase cooking utensils that are easier for them to manipulate, prepare a number of individual meals they can easily open and serve, set up their bathroom with an elevated toilet seat and grab bars in the shower, and get them fitted for walkers and other assistive devices.
Step 3
Hire aides and housecleaners to come in and take care of any number of duties. Home health agencies often can supply nurses to provide regular medical monitoring and aides to assist with bathing and cooking. Cleaning services can make sure your parents' house is in order. Medicare often pays for medical in-home services.
Step 4
Call on community organizations, such as Meals On Wheels, to bring in food if your income is limited. Contact your local public aging office through the U.S. Administration on Aging Elder Locator to find out what kinds of social services are available in your area.
Tips and Warnings
- If your siblings aren't willing to put in the time to help with your parents care, ask them to provide financial support to pay for your own lost wages as well as other caregiver costs, home remodeling that's needed to make your parents' home safe or other expenses that come up during their care.
- Be careful not to fall into the martyr trap and close communications with your siblings. Whether you are operating out of guilt or some co-dependent frame of mind, you should inventory your own motivations for taking on the care all by yourself when siblings are available.
Things You'll Need
- Meeting with siblings
- Home health aides
- House cleaners
- Community services
