Marriage is a sacred, personal act and commitment between two people. One of the most common vows of marriage is to remain monogamous until you are parted by death. However, not all marriages remain monogamous, and the result is the spouse seeking a relationship outside the marriage. Cheating means different things to different people. For some, keeping a secret about a new friend of the opposite sex is considered cheating, while others find a sexual affair to be the main form of cheating. Look for signs that may suggest your spouse is cheating.
Step 1
Analyze your husband's work schedule. If he has taken on a new project or suddenly works longer days or on weekends, this could be a sign of infidelity, but check the information before making accusations. Subtly question him about why he is working so many long hours and what his whereabouts are. Verify this information by asking him to give you details about the project. Ask him the same question a few days later to see if his answers still match up. If his place of work is still open, try calling him at work during one of his overtime sessions to find out if he is in the building.
Step 2
Observe your husband's mannerisms and actions. Look for sudden differences in his behavior, such as acting happier and more fulfilled or taking an interest in a new hobby or activity. Some cheating spouses also begin to act differently in the bedroom. New sex positions or a sudden change in the frequency of intimacy may indicate new, learned behavior resulting from his infidelity.
Step 3
Look for changes in your husband's clothing and personal care items. Sudden changes in clothing styles and physical appearance could possibly be signs of infidelity. Transforming from his usual clothing styles to younger, trendier styles could indicate he's trying to impress his mistress. If your spouse is visiting the gym or hitting the tanning salon for the first time in years, he could want to look his best for someone else. Physical changes alone don't always indicate cheating, but be suspicious if he also begins to drastically change his personality or becomes defensive if you ask him about the sudden changes.
Step 4
Check your husband's personal records. Although some spouses may see this act as an invasion of privacy, it can be a simple way to determine exactly where your spouse has been. Bank records, receipts and canceled checks may lead you to possible locations at which he has been having an affair. Look closely at gas receipts, because they include time stamps and locations that indicate where your spouse has been.
Step 5
Track your husband's whereabouts if possible. Check up on your spouse unannounced throughout the day at work or while he is at the gym. These visits will allow you to find out whether he is spending his time where he says or is with someone else. Wait in the parking lot around the time when he gets out of work to see if he leaves or actually stays and works late. If you are home with the children or unable to follow him yourself, ask a friend to assist you.
Step 6
Ask your spouse if he is cheating. One of the best ways to find out with certainty, even if you have been looking closely at the entire situation, is to just come out and ask him directly whether he has been cheating on you. Many cheaters will admit they have been unfaithful if they are asked point blank.
Tips and Warnings
- If you have asked your spouse about his fidelity and he denies he is seeing someone else, do not press the issue. You could push him away or stir up feelings of anger if he feels he is being attacked. Consider the fact your spouse may be faithful. Be prepared to state why your suspicions have been raised and what you will do to rectify the situation.
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